10 Types of People You Meet at The Club

Everyone loves a good time at a club. Okay, maybe not everyone. The party life isn’t really for everyone, let’s face it. But if you are a regular to the lifestyle, the energy, fun, the music at deafening sounds and the perfect blend of friends and alcohol can make for an amazing night out. Be that as it may, there are quite a number of characters you are likely to meet at a club, and in this post we have summed them up for you. Can you identify which group you belong to?

The Wall Gecko

The Wall Gecko’s are easily noticeable when you get into the club. They are the ones you wonder why they left their house in the first place. They do not dance, or get up from their seats except to pee in the bathroom or to apply powder on noses they’ve been putting in the air at everyone all night. They usually choose a spot to seat that is near an electric socket, I’ve seen some come with their extension cords just to charge their phones. At the peak of the popularity of selfie-sticks, they were the champions of those. Taking a ton of pictures and clattering their long artificial nails on their phone keypad endlessly but do nothing else in the club. They are also the Snapchatters and WhatsApp Story Tellers.

The Shaku Shaku Masters

Shaku Shaku is the dance of the season now so lets go with it. These set of people are the best dancers in the club, amazing energy through the night, usually they are connoisseurs of different eras of hit songs, and for every jam the DJ is putting on they know the lyrics, sing along and pull off a dance move for every song. From Galala to Suo, and more recent moves of Azonto, Shoki and Shaku Shaku, they’ve got them all. They are actually some of the best groups to have in the club, but if you are a guy like me who can’t dance to save his life, you’ll be scared they don’t snatch your woman with their sleek waist and quick feet.


The Talkative

I don’t understand going to the club to gist. There is a reason the speakers are at a full blast and you cant hear yourself thinking. You aren’t meant to be having conversations in the club. But you cant help having discussion moguls in the club. They like to look important and business like. Huddled in their table you’ll think they are attempting to choose the next president from their own little cabal, or find a cure to why my bank account is always red. Good thing though is that they order well, and why awkward young chaps who haven’t gotten a hang of what to do when in the club scene. To tell they actually mean well, they end up talking to a girl on the night and talk her ears off about this new app they are building. Uncle let’s dance, leave talk.

Miss Social 2018

These set of people in the club know everyone. If they are your date for the night don’t get offended by them having to greet and hug every guy and girl who walks in. They are known in and out of the club scenes, have lots of friends, know the DJs, and are basically in the trench of the new generation socialites taking over from the Ovation type ones.

The Drunks

Not everyone’s favorite group of clubbers. Two things, people in these group either can’t hold in their alcohol or the night doesn’t end well for them if they aren’t out cold drunk and nursing a hangover for the next 18 hours. Maybe you have a friend or two in this group, or maybe it is even you, it’s great you’re a real party goer and maybe even the life of the party, but having to deal with a drunk on a night out isn’t always pleasant. Besides, moderation in everything always makes it better.

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Mr. I Know the Owner of the Club

The Braggers and the Braggados. These group of clubbers would name drop at will you almost think its a social disease. They’ll tell anyone who cares to listen how they were consulted before the owner of the club found a site and a name for the club, and how he has dinner with him on Tuesday but he’ll probably sly him anyway, because his other guy is coming from the UK and this one is his sure guy and he had sent him money to get things for him when he was getting back. I don’t have to tell you most of these sort of guys are liars right?

The Couples

If you are single and you see Couples in the club you will question your entire existence. You’ll see them dancing together with the girl giving the guy amazingly erotic whines, and when her feet hurts she asks him to sit for a lap dance all the while shoving her boobies in his face and he is grabbing her butt and giving you a look like, yea this is all mine, meanwhile you are still trying to hustle random girls in the club. Two hours later they are both tired from dancing and she now has her legs across his lap while he gives her foot rubs and fed her seedless grapes.

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The Club Hoppers

They come in, survey the place, spend 15 minutes, don’t see their ex girlfriend and her crew, or their guys and their guys guys and so they leave and hit the next club, all the while drinking the bottle water they bought in traffic.


You know those pictures you see on Twitter of peoples bills in the club running into millions, yes, those are the Omo Baba Olowo’s. Daddy’s Money? Sugar Daddies Money? Yahoo Money? Hustle Money? Bet9ja Money, all rolled into one. The OBO’s are usually a bunch of show offs trying to live fast and die hard, spending peoples pension and gratuity one night in the club and then their friends don’t see them again till they’ve made another hammer, and it is the entire process of burning through cash again until the next episode.

The Perverts

We really need to talk about these set of clubbers. They are nasty and if you are one, stop it, don’t do it. Don’t be that guy. Their traits include forcing a grind with a girl dancing on her own or with her friends, please understand the concept of personal space and stop thrusting your groins at peoples hips and bum in the club. They also like to operate by plying a girl with alcohol with the hopes of having their way with her. This group is possibly the worst group to have in the club, nobody likes them, and they aren’t fun to be around.